Unmet needs theory and readiness

"Unmet needs" theory of limerence originates from the psychoanalysts, especially Theodor Reik, and some (mainstream) authors have written about it.

Verhulst (1984) on limerence defines "readiness" this way: 

Before limerence begins, a person may be in a state of readiness and heightened susceptibility for limerence (Tennov, 1979; Money, 1981). Biological factors, such as the surge in hormone levels during adolescence or the level of general arousal and energy, undoubtedly play a role. However, several authors have emphasized the importance of psychological factors such as preceding loneliness, discontent, and alienation (Reik, 1941; Fromm, 1956; Shor and Sanville, 1979).

Note that Reik is mentioned here, linking him to limerence directly.

Hatfield & Walster (1985, pp. 59–60; originally 1978, a source also referred to by Tennov) explain Reik this way:

THE GREATER OUR NEED, THE MORE GRANDIOSE OUR FANTASIES

Sigmund Freud claimed that "happy people never make fantasies, only unsatisfied ones do." Psychoanalyst Theodor Reik elaborated on Freud's argument by suggesting that when people are must unhappy with themselves and their lives, they are most vulnerable to love:

In the ordinary person there is only a general ill-contested feeling of restlessness or impatience, an indefinite mood, sometimes boredom or loneliness, a distaste or even dislike of oneself, a sense of incompleteness and nostalgia, a desire to belong. . . . It is as if a voice deep inside himself were saying, "There is something amiss or missing."

It is then that violent passion springs up. As Dorothy Parker observed:

SYMPTOM RECITAL

I do not like my state of mind:
I'm bitter, querulous, unkind.
I hate my legs, I hate my hands,
I do not yearn for lovelier lands.
I dread the dawn's recurrent light;
I hate to go to bed at night.
I snoot at simple, earnest folk.
I cannot take the gentles joke.
I find no peace in paint or type.
My world is but a lot of tripe.
I'm disillusioned, empty-breasted.
For what I think, I'd be arrested.
I am not sick, I am not well.
My quondam dreams are shot to hell.
My soul is crushed, my spirit sore;
I do not like me any more.
I cavil, quarrel, grumble, grouse.
I ponder on the narrow house.
I shudder at the thought of men . . .
I'm due to fall in love again.

Aron et al. (1989) attribute the concept of 'readiness' to Reik, with a nearby mention of Tennov:

Filling needs — particularly needs as stable personality traits, a longstanding theoretical theme (e.g. Centers, 1975; Winch, 1958) and subject of more recent studies as well (e.g. Shea & Adams, 1984), including those of love experiences mentioned above by Shaver et al. (1987) and Tennov (1979).

Finally, some theory and a small amount of research has focused specifically on antecedents of falling in love. ... Readiness for entering a relationship — as emphasized originally by Reik (1944), and in more recent research as temporarily lowered self-esteem (e.g. Walster, 1965).

Also see here for another writing on limerence by Aron & Aron. Aron is of course the author of the "ecstatic union" brain scan paper.

The study by Walster [Elaine Hatfield] is summarized by Lott & Lott (1974, p. 175) as an individual difference affecting the amount of reward:

Direct reward from another person in the studies just cited, appears to have affected most subjects in the same general way. The needs elicited within most of the subjects can be assumed to have been similar, and to have been satisfied by the other person's behavior. In other cases, however, we find that different individuals are differently affected by the same potential reward. Thus, for example, being asked for a date by a man did not produce the same degree of liking for him by college women in an experiment conducted by Walster (1965). Immediately after being asked for the date by a male confederate the subjects were presented, by the experimenter, with different feedback from a pseudopersonality test. Those women whose self-esteem was lowered by negative test results subsequently indicated a greater liking for the male confederate than did the women whose self-esteem was raised by positive feedback. These findings fit a drive-reduction interpretation of reinforcement. Liking for the male was greater on the part of those subjects who needed the ego boost of the forthcoming date. The date offer had been made just prior to the self-esteem manipulation, but the date itself was an anticipated potentially positive experience. The liking measure intervened between the self-esteem manipulation and the expectation of a pleasurable event. Reward in this example has two aspects: first, the date offer, and second, the anticipation of the forthcoming experience.

Also see "Reward theory of attraction" (Wikipedia).

And what might Theodor Reik (1944) have been talking about, according to himself?

What is this thing called love? Bizet's Carmen declares that its "a gypsy's child." ... If there were no rhyme nor reason in love it could not be made the object of scientific research. But is it so? There must be a method even in this madness. Love can as little escape the laws of psychology as a table can break away from the law of gravitation and float up to the ceiling. ... And yet psychology is unable to discover the origin and nature of an experience which you and I and all men know.

... I assert that the last serious book which penetrated this secret domain was De l'amour by Stendhal. (section "Love or Whatever It Is")

Ah yes, De l'amour, that book which former APA president Sharon Brehm (1988, p. 233; also see p. 239) considered superior to Tennov's own work, on limerence:

Since I happen to believe that one learns more effectively from positive models than from negative ones, my decision to study passionate love immediately threw me into a difficult quandary. Where could I find systematic, detailed accounts of the experience of passionate love that were not written for the purpose of condemning it? Tennov's (1979) book, Love and Limerence, proved a valuable beginning, although as I will discuss later in this chapter I have some fundamental disagreements with her perspective. Even more helpful was Tennov's own basic source: the works of Marie-Henri Beyle, better known as Stendhal.

... One of the most astonishing things about De l'amour is its accessibility 164 years after it was first published (in 1822). Stendhal was a man of modern sensibilities and a first-rate psychologist before the official term was coined.

Robert Sternberg (1987) interprets the clinical theorists this way as well.

Clinical theories

Most clinical theories hold to a discontinuity between liking and loving but have more to say about loving than they do about liking. For example, Freud (1922/1955) viewed love in terms of sublimated sexuality, whereas Reik (1944) viewed love as arising out of dissatisfaction with oneself and one's lot in life.

...

Recently, Tennov (1979) introduced the concept of limerence, or intrusive cognitive activity, acute longing for, and intense dependency on another. Tennov seemed to be talking about what Hatfield and Walster (1981) referred to as romantic love—a state of intense absorption in another whereby lovers long for their partners and for ecstasy and complete fulfillment through their partners. This is certainly the kind of love that Peele and Brodsky (1976) viewed as addictive and that de Rougemont (1940), as well as many others, pointed out as seeming to require obstacles and impediments to survive.

...

The relatively high correlation between liking and loving scales is not surprising, given that the love scales seem to measure those aspects of love that are most akin to liking. They certainly do not fully measure the hot, passionate aspects of love dealt with in the theories of Freud (1905/1962), Reik (1944), Tennov (1979), and others of the clinical psychologists discussed earlier.

Frank Tallis (2005, pp. 202–205) tells a story of Freud's experience with obsessional jealousy, making him seem like probably a limerent himself. Reik believed that Freud equated love with libido only because he did not have a theoretical framework to understand it.

References

• Aron, A., Dutton, D., Aron, E. & Iverson, A. (1989). Experiences of Falling in Love.
• Brehm, S. (1988). "Passionate Love". The Psychology of Love.
• Hatfield, E. & Walster, G. W. (1985). A New Look at Love.
• Lott, A. & Lott, B. (1974). "Reward in the Formation of Positive Interpersonal Attitudes". Foundations of Interpersonal Attraction.
• Reik, T. (1944). A Psychologist Looks at Love.
• Sternberg, R. (1987). Liking versus loving: A comparative evaluation of theories.
• Tallis, F. (2005). Love Sick: Love as a Mental Illness. 
• Verhulst, J. (1984). Limerence: Notes on the nature and function of passionate love.