shiverypeaks

The following is an excerpt from a 1974 book chapter titled "A Little about Love", by Ellen Berscheid & Elaine Hatfield. (See:  doi , scans , pages 358–359, 380.) The chapter is also cited by Dorothy Tennov on page 56 of Love and Limerence  (note: page 282), in her discussion of the Romeo and Juliet effect. A. The Importance of Fantasy Researchers have generally assumed that it is the actual rewards which are exchanged during interpersonal contact which create liking. It seems doubtful, however, that people are so reality-bound. When the lover closes his eyes and daydreams, he can summon up a flawless partner—a partner who instantaneously satisfies all his unspoken, conflicting, and fleeting desires. In fantasy he may receive unlimited reward or he may anticipate that he would receive unlimited reward were he ever to actually meet his ideal. Compared to our grandiose fantasies, the level of reward we receive in our real interactions is severely circumscrib...

How does Dorothy Tennov define limerence?  People often misread her. Some common misconceptions are that Dorothy Tennov doesn't clearly define limerence in her material, or that she defines it as a simple synonym for being in love (including crushes, and so on). A careful examination of her material shows that she does clearly define it. The reason for the confusion has to do with the way that Tennov defines limerence through descriptions and comparisons, rather than semantics. She does this because she doesn't want to compare limerence directly to other terms, which she thinks could lead people to misunderstand her. By my definition, limerence is distinct. It is involuntary and its course depends largely on external circumstances (social barriers to a relationship and the behavior of LO). Limerent attraction is always for a potential sexual partner although its primary goal is reciprocation, not the sexual act, which is often more symbolic of mutuality than an end in it...